My post today really has nothing to do with weight loss. I guess I just need to talk to someone–anyone–before I go on an eating binge triggered by stress and sadness. I need someone to listen to me as we walk along the path to weight loss.
Yesterday, I found out my first father-in-law, and my daughter’s favorite grandparent, passed away. I broke down in tears, and I worried about how to break the news to my six-year-old. I did when anyone finding herself in an unknown situation would do: I called home. My mom advised me to tell Leda that her “abuelito” was in Heaven with Holly and Misty, two dogs that have gone on, too.
Jude and I drove straight to my ex’s house. I hugged the father of my child and whispered in his ear, “How do we tell our daughter her grandpa’s dead?” Leda walked up behind us. I didn’t want to be completely broken in front of her, so I composed myself before giving her a morning hug.
We sat her on the sofa and broke the news to her. She cried, then asked to be left alone. A few minutes later, she came out of her room and asked to visit my parents.
I know she doesn’t want to face reality right now. I know that, in time, she’ll catch herself in moments where she wants to visit her abuelito and talk to him and walk with him, but she can’t. And my heart breaks for her.
Thanks for listening. These past two days, I’ve found myself eating and not feeling full. Yesterday afternoon, my husband suggested we go cycling to help take my mind off the upcoming funeral, and it helped curb the emotional cravings. We did the same today. See, it’s okay to feel sad, but it’s not okay to deal with it via food. My body still wants an outlet, and if I can release with exercise, I’m already learning to cope in a healthy manner.
I also wanted to take this moment to tell all my readers that you are my saviors. On January 1st, I made a resolution to lose weight, and, because of you, I’m still on track. I can’t control “acts of God,” but I can reign in my weight to bring down risk percentages so I can watch my daughter grow up into a beautiful young lady. Y’all have found something in me worth saving, and I’ll forever be grateful.