Today, I was invited to go to Pizza Hut with some of the members of a local Heroclix group. I tentatively accepted. I mean, even though I’ve decided not to let the number on the scale dictate how much fun I should have, change was still hard. After bathing, I slipped on my favorite jeans and was about to tug on an old t-shirt when I stopped. If I was going to have fun tonight, I needed to feel good about myself.
Now, I admit, it’s not easy to feel good when you are over two hundred pounds. Every time I stand in front of the mirror, I don’t see a person. I see a belly, a huge belly with folds and dimples. I don’t see two arms. I see two sacks of flours attached to my shoulders. I see a layer of fat tucked under my chin hiding the true length of my neck. Today, the mirror reflected that same image.
But then a small voice, which sounded eerily like my mom, said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I smiled. Again, Mom was right. It’s easy to keep mean thoughts about others inside (most of the time), but when thinking about ourselves, we could critique until the cows come home, and then some. Instead of focusing on what’s “wrong,” we should focus on what’s right. I’ve always loved my hair and eyes, so I straightened my hair and applied eyeshadow to my eyelids. After the make-up, I felt so good about my appearance that I traded the t-shirt for a long-sleeve blouse and a chunky necklace. Here’s the end result:
And guess what? I had fun! I got to geek it up and feel sexy at the same time. Progress, indeed. The Beatles had it right: All we need really is love, for our fellow man and for ourselves.
By the way, I don’t have two different colored eyes. I have two contacts that don’t match, but that’s all that was left in the boxes, so, until I see the optometrist at the end of the month, I’m stuck with these. 🙂